My Testimony: The Power of God's Presence

It had become my nightly routine. After my family was all settled for the night, I’d curl up on my comfy sofa with a soft blanket, Lifetime Movie Network, and my favorite bottle of wine or other alcoholic beverage. I’d pour glass after glass, either until the bottle was empty or the nagging thoughts in my mind ceased.

During that time in my life, I was stressed and depressed. I was battling internal struggles, my marriage was rocky, and my mom was near death. I felt overwhelmed by the issues of life, and in my unstable mind, the headache from a hangover was more appealing than dealing with the headache of facing my problems.

Alcohol had become my best friend. It was there for me during my lowest moments, always made me feel better, and provided me the perfect escape from the cares of life. Not only that, but it was soothing and I was swept away by the numbing effect it offered. When I drank, I didn’t have to feel. Like a blanket of security, it shielded me from the pain that tormented my heart and mind. I felt free whenever I was under its influence.

As my pain and troubles grew, so did my love for my liquid friend. I began to indulge in alcohol more and more, and felt like I actually needed it in order to face life. But I was wrong, I didn’t need it, and a weekend getaway with friends helped me to realize just that.

While celebrating a friend’s birthday, I took it as the perfect opportunity to let my hair down and take a mental trip away from my jacked up life. That night I consumed so much alcohol that my friends literally had to carry me to the car. I was totally intoxicated and incoherent…a complete mess. I’ll spare you all of the gory details, but I was sick – physically and spiritually – for a whole week after drinking myself into a frenzy that night. And after hearing about the way alcohol’s influence caused me to act, I was embarrassed and ashamed.

That was a little over three years ago, and the last time I had any dealings with my liquid friend ex-friend.

Though the road to recovery is different for everyone, for me it was found through inviting God’s presence into my life.

Back then, though I professed to be a Christian and attended church regularly, the Lord’s presence was missing from my life. Not because it wasn’t available to me, but because I was too wrapped up in my problems and doing me to see the importance of nurturing a genuine relationship with Him. My life was void of the powerful presence of the Lord, and it left me open to fill that emptiness with the powerless, temporary fulfillment of alcohol. Had I had a real relationship with the Lord, and allowed His power to help me cope with the things that were going on in my life, I could have saved myself from drowning in drunkenness. But thanks be to God for never failing to extend His mercy to me in the midst of my foolishness, and allowing me to experience the life-changing power of His presence.

I thought alcohol helped me to free my mind, when in actuality it was a vice that kept me bound. It gave me a temporary escape, and blinded my eyes to the true way of escape the Lord had already provided for me. (1 Corinthians 10:13) I praise God for pulling me out of its strong grip when He did, and for canceling the enemy’s plan of destruction for me.

I don’t know who this may help, but the answer to escaping the reality of your problems cannot be found at the bottom of a bottle. The answer can, however, be found at the bottom of the cross…at Jesus’ feet.

The power of His presence changed me. It freed me. It healed me. It delivered me. It empowered me.

It can do the same for you, whether your issue is with alcohol, sex, over-eating, masturbation, pornography, or whatever the case may be.

Allow me to pray for you: Lord, I lift the sister who finds herself trying to drown her problems in alcohol or other empty vices, up to You, and I ask that You, by Your power, would help her to immerse herself in Your presence. When she feels overwhelmed by life, pull her close to Your bosom and saturate her in Your peace. Erase the guilt and shame, oh God, and remind her of Your perfect, unconditional love towards her. As she seeks You, give her comfort in knowing that although she has big problems, You are bigger, and she is an overcomer in Christ. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Be Beautiful!

XOXO

You Are SO Loved!

God is not mad at you; He's mad about you, and madly in love with you.

I love that quote.

I can remember a time in my life when I believed that God didn't like me too much.  Although I professed to be a Christian, I often willingly did things that were contrary to His word.  The life I lived behind closed doors was contradictory to holiness and righteousness.  Even though I often pleaded for God's forgiveness, the weight of my guilt and shame made me feel that God was angry with me for continuously falling short. 

After breaking promise after promise to straighten up and fly right, I felt that God had gotten tired me and His love had waxed cold.  But that wasn't so; that's just the way I felt...what the enemy made me believe.  What I didn't realize back then is even though my actions didn't always line up with my desire to be pleasing to God, He yet extended His grace to me.  Even in my sin, His grace abounded the more. (Romans 5:20)

He wasn't mad at me; He didn't cut me off; He didn't throw me away, but He continuously loved me.  He knew that underneath all of my mess was the holy, righteous woman He destined me to be before the foundation of the world.  Despite all of the sinful, displeasing things I did (Trust me, I can write a book about all the stuff I did.) His love was constant.  He loved me deeply and unconditionally, and never held any of my wrongdoing against me.  He forgave me, and cast all of my sins into the sea of forgetfulness. 

Although I engaged in premarital sex...

Although I was addicted to pornography...

Although I filled myself with alcohol...

Although I harbored unforgiveness in my heart...

Although I wasn't always honest...

Although I had a baby out of wedlock...

Although I shacked up with my boyfriend...

Although I hated those who hurt me...

God was never mad at me, but was always mad about me and madly in love with me.  I'm so grateful for that.

The same goes for you.  No matter what you've done in the past, or what you're struggling with at this very moment, God is not mad at you.  Because He is so rich in love, grace, and mercy, He yet loves you madly...deeply...unconditionally.  He loves you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

Now don't get me wrong, by no means am I insinuating that continuing in anything that is contrary to God's standard of holiness is okay simply because He is gracious towards us. (See Romans 6)  As children of God, we are called to be holy and represent Christ in all areas of our lives, and that is what we should strive for each and every day.  However, God understands that, as imperfect people, we make mistakes and have struggles. 

And in spite of your shortcomings, mistakes, bad choices, or whatever the case may be, God is not mad at you; He is mad about you and madly in love with you.  He's not holding any guilt over your head, neither is He holding on to what you did yesterday.  His love for you far exceeds that, and His plans are to prosper you, and give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Follow God's example, and forgive yourself. Let go of the guilt and stop being mad at yourself. Ask God to help you love yourself the way He does, madly...deeply...unconditionally. You are SO loved!

Be Beautiful!
XOXO

Be A Woman of Hope!

Hope is what keeps you believing for the best when life gives you every reason to expect the worst. It is that ray of sunshine that peeks through the darkest clouds. Hope keeps you going when tough challenges tell you to quit. It is that little flicker of light, buried beneath the ashes, that ignites your soul and keeps it alive. Hope is your lifeline; without it, your spirit would flatline. It can be quite difficult to keep hope alive, especially when you’ve been believing for something better for an extended period of time, yet nothing seems to improve.

 If you focus on the fluctuation of circumstances, your ability to remain in great expectation will dwindle to nothing. This is why you are admonished to keep your gaze fixed on the faithfulness of the Lord. You can never trust the situations of life to paint a true picture of what lies ahead, but when your confidence is in the Lord, you can be sure that, because He, the All-Knowing One, holds your tomorrow in His hands, He is faithful to bring His good plans for your life to pass. As a daughter of The King, you have no reason to lose hope. No matter how unpromising life may appear, He has promised you a great future, and He never goes back on His word. Hold on to the expectation that, no matter how dark or long the night, morning will come. You are a woman of hope!

Prayer:
Lord, thank You for making me a woman of hope. Life doesn’t always seem hopeful in my eyes, but help me to place my confidence and focus upon You, so that I may remain in expectation for the best You have planned for me. I cast down the spirit of hopelessness, and despite how circumstances may try to cloud my view, I will hold on to Your promises. I declare today that I am a woman of hope. Help me to embrace this truth as I move forward in becoming the beautiful woman I am destined to be. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Excerpt from Beautiful Me: 21 Days to Embracing Your Beauty Within 

Be Beautiful!
xoxo

You're Already Beautiful

There's so much more to you than what meets the eye, and when you size yourself up according to what you see when you look in the mirror, you miss the total picture of the beauty you truly possess.

The mirror hanging on your wall cannot be trusted to tell you the truth about how beautiful you are. It will tell you you're fat, you're ugly, and you don't look like those perfect women on the cover of magazines. It will make you believe you're too much of this and not of enough of that; that you need to change your hair, do more with your makeup, and alter your wardrobe. It will destroy your self-esteem.

In my newly released book, Beautiful Me: 21 Days to Embracing Your Beauty Within, I wrote:

"It’s hard nowadays to turn on the television or look on the cover of magazines and see a woman who looks like you. Many of them are airbrushed to resemble perfect beauty defined by the close-mindedness of media and pop culture. She has the perfect body, perfect teeth, perfect hair, perfect fashion; in one word, she’s perfect. When you size yourself next to her, all you are able to see are your imperfections, because they don’t match the beauty she represents. But who ever set a specific standard to beauty? Who ever said you must be this size, have this hair, and look this way to be considered beautiful? It’s all a lie. True beauty is not indicative upon how you look, but upon the makeup of who you are."

Why do we, as God's daughters, try to measure our beauty based upon worldly standards?  Why do we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to look like what the world deems beautiful?  And when we don't fit its standard, why do we feel like something is wrong with us?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.  You are not supposed to look like the woman that media and those around you force in your face.  You are a unique being, created in the image of the Almighty God.

Attempting to look like anything other than Him is a downgrade to your true beauty.

Take the stress and pressure off of yourself and know this -- Your beauty is intricately wrapped in the divine design of your creation. It is in the combination of splendid qualities placed within you by the hands of The Heavenly Father before He formed you in your mother’s womb. You are God’s workmanship, His masterpiece, and everything He creates is lovely. His image sets the standard for your beauty, and His image is perfectly beautiful; therefore, so are you. 

Fashion yourself after the Spirit of the Lord and clothe yourself in holiness, righteousness, love, peace, and joy.  Adorn yourself with a life of worship and prayer.  Measure yourself next to the Word of God, and in those areas where you don't quite line up, ask for His grace and strength to alter what is necessary.

You're already beautiful. No mirror or magazine cover can define that; only God.

Be Beautiful!

It ALL Has Purpose

"I spent a great deal of my life searching for something to fill the void of not having my father around.  I turned to sex, pornography, and, eventually, alcohol, desperately seeking to feel whole. But all those vices did was add to my emptiness and made me feel worse about myself.  Wandering aimlessly through life, I felt worthless, and in my eyes, there was nothing good for my life." (Excerpt from "Beautiful Me: 21 Days to Embracing Your Beauty Within) 

For me, not having my father in my life was hard...very hard.  Life devoid of his love and protection left me vulnerable to things I probably never would have experienced had he been there.  Perhaps I would have never been introduced to things like molestation, promiscuity and low self-esteem.  Maybe I would have known that I was worth more than to be used to fulfill a man's lustful desires.  Or maybe, just maybe, I would have avoided a 15-year addiction to pornography, trying to deal with the pain of his absence.

For so many years, I blamed my father for all of the misfortunes in my life.  Everything was his fault.  Everything...because he dropped the ball on his responsibility to love, nurture, and protect me.

How could he leave his little girl all alone?  How could he not care that she'd never know the true love of a father?  How could he abandon me when all I ever wanted was his presence in my life?  How could he neglect such a precious gift -- his own child?

I didn't have the answers to those questions back then, but as I have grown in my relationship with the Lord, I have gained new insight on my father's absence.

Although it was his choice, ultimately, it was God's will.

Yes, I would've given anything to have my father in my life - still would - however, I have learned to trust that even in not-so-great situations, God knows what's best for me. Who's to say that my father's presence would have made my life better? Who's to say that he even knew how to be a good father to me? It's possible that things could've been worse had he been there. Who knows?

I once hated him for abandoning me, but that was before I understood that God causes all things to work for my good. His absence created a bigger space for God's presence. How can I be mad about that?

If I really think about it, I was never without my Father.  Where my natural father left me, my Heavenly Father loved me.

God has both healed that pain and filled that void, and now I can honestly confess that I love my father. Wherever he may be in this life, I honor him because he was a part of God's plan to produce my existence. Without the part he played, I wouldn't be able to fulfill God's amazing purpose for my life.

The ugly things I experienced in life were not my father's fault; it was simply all necessary to bring God's purpose for me to life.  I needed those experiences so that He could use my testimony as encouragement for other women.  It had to happen.

You may not always understand why you've had to go through certain things, and you may even feel that others are to blame for the unfortunate circumstances in your life, but here is something that I've learned:

God works in ways we know nothing about and cannot comprehend. You may not understand the why behind what you've experienced or what you're currently going through, but God, in His infinite wisdom,  is in total control of it all.  He will carry you through the tough times and use what seemed to be for your demise to lead you to His place of destiny for your life.  Romans 8:28 is true, my friend...God causes ALL things to work together for good to them that love Him and are called according to His purpose.  The opposition you face in life are opportunities to draw closer to God and receive an outpour of His Spirit, strength, grace and peace.  It was, or is, a part of God developing your story to be used for His glory. 

Every pain, every heartache, every disappointment has all been purposed to work in your favor.  All things work together...

You Are Resilient!

Life can throw some serious blows your way.  Many times, the trials that come your way punch you in the gut, knock you off your feet, and kick you while you're down.  There are some seasons that are so challenging, it sucks the life right out of you.  You lose your joy, you sink in depression, and your zeal for life fades away.

When life beats you down, it can seem incredibly hard to recover.  Rising from the ashes is often such a hard task, and sometimes it just feels easier to stay down in the dumps.

But that is not God's plan for you.  Misery is NOT your destiny!  No matter how low you may fall in life, you have the supernatural ability to rise again.  As a daughter of The King, you are an overcomer.  As an overcomer, you are destined to come over any and every obstacle with total victory.  Comeback power is woven into your divine makeup.

I want to add a little beauty to your day with an excerpt from my newly released debut book, "Beautiful Me: 21 Days To Embracing Your Beauty Within." 

May the words encourage your heart and empower you to tap into the resilience that resides within you.

Day 12

I am a woman of resilience!

“Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down!” You probably remember that catchphrase from the Weebles toy that always returns to its original, upright position no matter how hard you kick it, punch it, or try to knock it down. Though it may shake, or wobble, a bit, it never stays down. It always pops right back up because of the gravitational force manufactured into it that helps it hold its ground and not be moved from its rightful place. You, too, have the ability to bounce back from from anything that comes to take you down. You have the greatest gravitational force, Jesus Christ, as your anchor. It is inevitable that life will beat upon you, and circumstances will occur that will shake your faith and cause you to buckle at the knees. But because the resurrecting power of The Savior resides within you, you are empowered to bounce back from the battering blows of life. Situations may knock you off your feet temporarily, but they cannot permanently keep you from returning to your rightful place in God. You possess the ability to rise from the ashes that come to bury you. You can recover from sickness, loss, depression, physical or sexual abuse, financial struggle, or any setback you encounter in life. You may wobble, but you won’t stay down. You are a woman of resilience!

Prayer:

Lord, thank You for making me a woman of resilience. Life has knocked me down, but thank You for reminding me that it’s not a total knock-out. Through Your power, I have the ability to recover from any blow that comes to uproot me from my rightful place in You. I will always rise from the ashes. I declare today that I am woman of resilience. Help me to embrace this truth as I move forward in becoming the beautiful woman I am destined to be. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

God Is Faithful

God is faithful.

I'm sure that's a phrase you hear regularly, especially when you're going through a tough situation and someone offers encouragement to you.

God is faithful, they tell you.  But when you're right in the thick of a turbulent storm and everything in your life is caught up in a whirlwind, it seems like God is everything but faithful -- at least when it comes to your life.

Sometimes it can appear that God is being good to everyone except you.  Finding yourself facing heartache and disappointment continually can put you in a pretty bad emotional and even spiritual state.

I know.  I've been there.  Just a few months back to be exact.

I love the Lord with all of my heart, mind and soul, but there was a period in my life when I questioned His faithfulness to me.  Like back in September when my husband and I lost our baby when I was fifteen weeks pregnant, and one week later, he lost his job.  The months of heartache, pain, struggle and depression that followed were unlike any other I'd ever faced -- and I'm no stranger to hardship.

It seemed like all of my prayers were going unheard.  Although, looking back, I can vividly see that the Lord never failed to hear me and sustain me during that season.

But when you're in the middle of a storm, it's hard to see clearly, right?  And when things are slow in changing, it's even harder to see God's faithfulness.

There's one thing I've learned, though.  When everything in life changes, God remains the same.  His love, His care, His word, His promises, His mercy, His grace - they NEVER change.  He is the one constant we can always depend upon.

He is faithful.

He may allow things to happen in your life that you are not particularly fond of; however, it does not change the fact that He will keep every single promise He's made to you.

Although it took 25 years for Isaac's birth, He was faithful to Abraham and Sarah. (Genesis 21:1-13)

Although Joseph was the pit and in prison for 13 years, God was faithful to bring him to the palace. (Genesis 41)

Although Job had to suffer greatly for a while, God was faithful to give him double for his trouble. (Job 42:10)

One of my favorite scriptures says this, "...after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation." (1 Peter 5:10, NLT)

That is what I call faithful.

Although I found myself in the pit for a while, God promised that He would restore me.  And that is exactly what He's doing in my life.

He proved Himself faithful when He allowed my husband to now have his dream career.

He proved Himself faithful when He allowed me to write and publish my first book this past May.

He proved Himself faithful when He allowed me to host my first women's conference last weekend.

He proved Himself faithful when He completely healed my heart, lifted my depression, and restored my joy.

He did just what He said He'd do...and He's still doing it.

I don't care how bleak it looks, know that God is certainly faithful and will manifest His word and His will in your life.  Don't you dare allow the enemy to play on your emotions and cause you to believe that at your worst is as good as it gets.  He is a liar.

You shall see the goodness of the Lord concerning your life while in the land of the living.

God. Is. Faithful.