It ALL Has Purpose

"I spent a great deal of my life searching for something to fill the void of not having my father around.  I turned to sex, pornography, and, eventually, alcohol, desperately seeking to feel whole. But all those vices did was add to my emptiness and made me feel worse about myself.  Wandering aimlessly through life, I felt worthless, and in my eyes, there was nothing good for my life." (Excerpt from "Beautiful Me: 21 Days to Embracing Your Beauty Within) 

For me, not having my father in my life was hard...very hard.  Life devoid of his love and protection left me vulnerable to things I probably never would have experienced had he been there.  Perhaps I would have never been introduced to things like molestation, promiscuity and low self-esteem.  Maybe I would have known that I was worth more than to be used to fulfill a man's lustful desires.  Or maybe, just maybe, I would have avoided a 15-year addiction to pornography, trying to deal with the pain of his absence.

For so many years, I blamed my father for all of the misfortunes in my life.  Everything was his fault.  Everything...because he dropped the ball on his responsibility to love, nurture, and protect me.

How could he leave his little girl all alone?  How could he not care that she'd never know the true love of a father?  How could he abandon me when all I ever wanted was his presence in my life?  How could he neglect such a precious gift -- his own child?

I didn't have the answers to those questions back then, but as I have grown in my relationship with the Lord, I have gained new insight on my father's absence.

Although it was his choice, ultimately, it was God's will.

Yes, I would've given anything to have my father in my life - still would - however, I have learned to trust that even in not-so-great situations, God knows what's best for me. Who's to say that my father's presence would have made my life better? Who's to say that he even knew how to be a good father to me? It's possible that things could've been worse had he been there. Who knows?

I once hated him for abandoning me, but that was before I understood that God causes all things to work for my good. His absence created a bigger space for God's presence. How can I be mad about that?

If I really think about it, I was never without my Father.  Where my natural father left me, my Heavenly Father loved me.

God has both healed that pain and filled that void, and now I can honestly confess that I love my father. Wherever he may be in this life, I honor him because he was a part of God's plan to produce my existence. Without the part he played, I wouldn't be able to fulfill God's amazing purpose for my life.

The ugly things I experienced in life were not my father's fault; it was simply all necessary to bring God's purpose for me to life.  I needed those experiences so that He could use my testimony as encouragement for other women.  It had to happen.

You may not always understand why you've had to go through certain things, and you may even feel that others are to blame for the unfortunate circumstances in your life, but here is something that I've learned:

God works in ways we know nothing about and cannot comprehend. You may not understand the why behind what you've experienced or what you're currently going through, but God, in His infinite wisdom,  is in total control of it all.  He will carry you through the tough times and use what seemed to be for your demise to lead you to His place of destiny for your life.  Romans 8:28 is true, my friend...God causes ALL things to work together for good to them that love Him and are called according to His purpose.  The opposition you face in life are opportunities to draw closer to God and receive an outpour of His Spirit, strength, grace and peace.  It was, or is, a part of God developing your story to be used for His glory. 

Every pain, every heartache, every disappointment has all been purposed to work in your favor.  All things work together...