Hold On! Change Will Come

On any given day, you can find me having sporadic bouts of praise and worship in my living room, kitchen, or bedroom.  With no preacher, no Hammond B3, and no neighbor to hi-five, I go in all by myself.  That popular church saying holds true for me – “When I think of the goodness of Jesus, and all He’s done for me, my soul cries out Hallelujah!” I honestly become overwhelmed with emotion whenever I reflect upon the Lord’s goodness, grace, and mercy in my life.  I often get a serious case of the can’t-help-its and let my floors have it!

A few days ago, after encouraging a young lady to not give up on her life, I reminisced on a time in my own life when my prayer was often “Lord, just let me give up!”, and I worshipped God from the depths of my soul until my tear ducts dried up and my words became incoherent.  Why?  Because He did not grant my amiss request.  

I have experienced my fair share of distress, disdain, and discomfort throughout my life.  Like many other women, molestation and the absence of my father - among the plethora of bad choices I made - led me into a life of sexual immorality, addiction, depression, and low self-esteem.  I had sunken so low, and become so accustomed to my hard-knock life, that when I finally reached a place where I actually wanted to get a grip on my downward spiraling life, it proved to be too challenging.  Praying was easy, but believing that I’d ever see the answers to my pleas for help, hope, and healing was extremely difficult.

There were times when it seemed that the more I prayed and tried to make steps towards a better life, something would always happen to knock me backwards.  Constantly being knocked down by the blows of life caused me to feel that giving up and accepting that things were as good as they were going to ever be, would be much easier than walking a path of faith that seemed to get me nowhere close to my land flowing with milk and honey.

The more depressed I became, the more I convinced myself that I’d be better off throwing in the towel.  But no matter how much I wanted to quit, or how often I cried “Lord, I give up” I am so thankful that His mercy kept me when I didn’t want to be kept.

Had I given up during those tough seasons, I never would have known the beauty of God’s plans for my life.  I would have missed out on seeing the Lord’s promise to give me hope and a future becoming manifest in me. Although my current journey is neither perfect, nor devoid of challenging circumstances, I am walking on much smoother plain these days, and God has been – and continues to be - faithful to perfect everything that concerns me.

When I compare my today to my yesterday, I realize that it would have been crazy of me to give up back then.  My sufferings back then do not compare to the glory that is now being revealed in me.  Giving up was definitely an option I wanted to choose for myself, but I am thankful that it was not the one God intended for me. 

Neither is it what He intends for you.

Life gets hard for everyone; none of us are exempt.  And sometimes the storm can become so boisterous that you’d rather be swept away with the wind than try to fight through it.  But today I’ve come to encourage you to keep pressing onward; don’t give up.  It may not seem like it right now, but it will get better.  If you give up now, you’ll miss out on all of the wonderful works the Lord intends to do in, through, and for you.

The very same God that brought me through the toughest of times will do the same thing for you; He is not a respector of persons. 

Consider Hannah.  If she had allowed her years of barrenness to cause her to give up on her desire to bare children, she never would have experienced the joy of birthing Samuel. (1 Samuel 1:1-28)

Consider the woman with the issue of blood.  After twelve years of hemorrhaging and spending all of her money trying to find a cure that was of no avail, she could have given up and accepted that there was no hope for her ever being healed. But she didn’t. She kept the faith and pressed her way to Jesus. Because she didn’t give up, she was made whole. (Mark 5:25-35)

Consider Job.  He lost everything he had, and was sorely afflicted from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet.  He could have cursed God and died during his challenging season; instead, he decided to fight through it, and wait until his change would come.  Because he never gave up, the Lord fully restored him and gave him double for His trouble. (Job 42:10-17)

No matter where you are, or what you’re facing right now, please do not give up in the face of hard times.  Better days are ahead.  Do not allow the enemy that comes in the form of frustration, weariness, and hopelessness, steal, kill, or destroy the abundant life God has promised to you.  He that began the good work in you is faithful to perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)

Endure hardness as a good soldier (2 Timothy 2:3), and as Philippians 4:6 (The Message) says, “Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”

In your own strength you will fail, but if you connect to The Power Source, Jesus Christ, His strength will become perfect in your weakness.  His strength will help you to hold on.  He will turn your ashes to beauty. Whatever you do, don’t give up. 

Prayer: Lord, during those times when letting to seems to be the best and easiest option, grant me supernatural strength to hang in there. Help me to trust that change is coming for me. When my life screams give up, help me to hear and heed that silent whisper encouraging me to hold on. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Be beautiful!

XOXO

Forget Them: What Does God Say?

"I can't believe what they're saying about me," the distraught voice said on the other end of the phone.  "They're painting me out to be this horrible person and now people are going to view me differently" she cried.

I held the phone to my ear, silently listening to her rant and cry about some rumors that were spreading about her. After about five minutes of her trying to dispel what they were saying, I'd taken all I could.  I couldn't listen anymore.

I interjected, "Who cares what they say? Who are they anyway? What does God say about you? That's the only voice that matters. Let go of those lies they are telling and embrace God's truth concerning you?"

"Ain't nobody got time for that" I added to lighten the mood.

She chuckled a bit, took a deep breath, and told me I was right.  "I know who I am in Christ; forget them," she said.

"Exactly" I confirmed, "What they say doesn't suddenly change who God says you are."

We went on to talk about other girl stuff, but the beginning of our lengthy conversation stuck in my mind long after we'd hung up the phone.

How easily we often get caught up and thrown out of sorts over what people say about us.  If you've ever experienced character assassination at the mouth of others, then you know exactly how my friend felt.

But listen, people will be people. For whatever reason, they lie on you, they discourage you, they say all kinds of things against you -- though you may not like it and it may not feel good, it really doesn't matter what they say.  At the end of the day only Your Creator - God - has the power to identify who you are.

Be not dismayed when others speak negatively about you; their words hold no merit.  Don't waste your time trying to chase down and dispel rumors, lies, and gossip. Instead, focus that energy on being everything that God says you are.

What exactly does God say about you?

He says...

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

You are His special treasure. (Deuteronomy 7:6)

You are the apple of His eye. (Psalm 17:8)

You are His child. (Ephesians 1:5)

You are protected from the evil one. (1 John 5:18)

You are holy; clothed in kindness, mercy, humility, and gentleness. (Colossians 3:12)

You are chosen and loved. (Ephesians 1:4.11)

You are His masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10)

You are His friend. (John 15:15)

Know the real truth about you are according to the word of God.  Close your ears to what they are saying, and open your Bible to hear what God says about you. It is filled with beautiful truths.

Be Beautiful!
XOXO

No One Compares To You

A few days ago, I spoke with a young lady who struggles with constantly comparing herself to others. Because she feels that her life isn’t what society tells her it should be at her age, she looks at the life of her peers who appear to have it all together and are doing well, and it causes her to believe that her life doesn’t hold a candle next to theirs. Based on what she sees in other women around her, and in mainstream media, she doesn’t think she’s pretty, smart, accomplished, fashionable, or gifted enough to say that there’s anything special about her life.

My heart ached as I listened to my acquaintance criticize herself. I wanted to reach through the phone and shake her until all of those self-demeaning thoughts flew out of her head, so I could bag them up and send them to the trash pile. Instead, I extended my heart, hugged her compassionately with words from the Lord, and encouraged her by sharing that I knew exactly how she felt.

I once walked in her shoes, feeling inadequate and inferior. I compared myself to every woman I believed had a better life than mine, and in my eyes, everything about me enormously paled in comparison to those around me. Just like her, I thought everyone else was prettier, smarter, more accomplished, more talented, and possessed a greater purpose than me. Whenever I sized myself against others, the end result was always the same – I never measured up. I didn’t look at the lives of others as inspiration to better myself; instead, I used others’ strengths to magnify my own weaknesses and shortcomings. What is so wrong with me that I can’t just be like everybody else? I’d think. I hated those feelings, and my continuous self-criticizing thoughts eventually caused me to hate myself.

Not only did my constant comparing produce self-hate, but also jealousy and envy. I often felt jealous of other women because I didn’t know how to channel my admiration towards them so that it positively influenced me. That’s a whole ‘nother story.

I circled the mountain of incessantly comparing myself to others for many years, and my struggle with depression had a lot to do with the fact that I never felt I measured up to the greatness I saw in others.

But one day I had an epiphany – Who told me that I had to measure up to anyone? Where did I get the idea that the life belonging to the lady next to me set the standard for my life? If I was created in God’s image, then why was I trying to conform to that of someone else?

I had a real Aha! moment.

Here’s what I believe, though it took me quite some time to reach this realization: Comparing yourself to others is equivalent to telling God – who does all things perfectly well and makes no mistakes– that He didn’t do a good enough job when He created you. When you criticize yourself, you criticize what God has made – a perfect you.

Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God’s masterpiece. If God considers each of us His masterful work of art, we should never disrespect His work by treating it as inferior to another. In God's eyes, there is no one better than you. There is not one person on this earth to which you can be compared because everything about you is unique. Your beauty, intelligence, gifts, talents, economic and social status, purpose…your entire life’s plan is unique to God’s design for your life. Just as your DNA cannot be matched or compared to anyone else’s, neither can anything about your life.

You were not created to measure up to anyone or anything other than Jesus Christ, and His principles and standards of holy, righteous living. Absolutely nothing about you is supposed to be anything like anybody else.

You are a unique being.

You were created by a unique God.

You are walking a unique path.

You have a unique purpose.

None of us should fixate our thoughts on the life of others. By doing so, we lose focus on who we are and what God destined us to be. Yes, we should be inspired by others, but we should never feel inferior to anyone.

If you struggle with comparing yourself to others, I encourage you to seek the Lord for help to concentrate on becoming who He created you to be, and not who you think you ought to be, based on the lives of those around you. Ask Him to give you security and peace in who you are through Christ so that you will be able to resist giving excessive thought to what others are doing, and focus on the unique, unlike any other, plan of purpose He has for your life.

May you be encouraged to do as Galatians 6:4 (The Message) admonishes – “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that…Don't compare yourself with others.”

Be Beautiful!

XOXO

YOU Have To Believe

I often come across women going through the process of transitioning from brokenness to wholeness. Recently, I had a chat with a young lady who was having a hard time believing that she deserved to be made whole, and was ready to throw in the towel. “I want to give up” she said, “why is it so easy for me to believe for others, but so hard for me to believe for myself?”

She sounded just like me at a time in my life -- ready to call it quits because I could not find the courage to believe that I deserved to be made whole and have an abundant, joyful life in Christ. Now I could freely encourage and believe for my fellow sisters, but when it came to me, not so much. But why not? Why couldn’t I have that same enthusiasm for myself?

I did not realize it then, but I now know that I simply could not get over myself. I could not see past my issues and struggles. I refused to look beyond my faults. I convinced myself that I could never be more than a woman filled with guilt and shame, and did not deserve redemption.

The adversary did not need to use anyone else to work against me because I had become my own worst enemy, fighting against myself. Whenever I would gain a small ounce of belief, I’d instantly diminish it with self-demeaning thoughts. I’d think to myself “Who are you kidding? You’ll never be more than what you are right now.” And to be perfectly honest, that’s exactly what I believed in my heart.

Because I could not see beyond what I was at that moment, I always felt less than. Because I felt that way, I always settled for less. I figured I didn’t deserve anything better than what was at the bottom of the barrel. Meaningless relationships, dead-end jobs…I mean I was lucky just to get leftovers, right? Absolutely not!

It took me a lot of praying, counseling, and finding myself through God’s word to realize that this was not the mentality God wanted me to have. Just as I did for others, He wanted me to believe that I, too, deserved to have a better life.

He wants the same for you.

No one knows your issues better than you. No one knows your secret struggles better than you. No one knows the depth of your pain better than you. So who better can the enemy use to fight against you? Yep, you guessed it – You. Today I encourage you to decide that no more will you allow the enemy to use you as his puppet.

Instead, allow God to erase the former things from the forefront of your mind, so that you can believe Him for the new thing He desires to do in you. (Isaiah 43:18-19)

No one can believe for you. It’s one of those things we all have to learn to do for ourselves. Know this – Because of the grace and mercy of our God, and the blood of Jesus Christ that cleanses every blemish in our lives, we are deemed faultless in the eyes of Christ. See yourself through the eyes of Christ, and know that despite your past and present state, you are deserving of love, life, and liberty.

Here’s a simple prayer: Lord, help thou my unbelief. (Mark 9:24)

Be Beautiful!

XOXO

My Testimony: The Power of God's Presence

It had become my nightly routine. After my family was all settled for the night, I’d curl up on my comfy sofa with a soft blanket, Lifetime Movie Network, and my favorite bottle of wine or other alcoholic beverage. I’d pour glass after glass, either until the bottle was empty or the nagging thoughts in my mind ceased.

During that time in my life, I was stressed and depressed. I was battling internal struggles, my marriage was rocky, and my mom was near death. I felt overwhelmed by the issues of life, and in my unstable mind, the headache from a hangover was more appealing than dealing with the headache of facing my problems.

Alcohol had become my best friend. It was there for me during my lowest moments, always made me feel better, and provided me the perfect escape from the cares of life. Not only that, but it was soothing and I was swept away by the numbing effect it offered. When I drank, I didn’t have to feel. Like a blanket of security, it shielded me from the pain that tormented my heart and mind. I felt free whenever I was under its influence.

As my pain and troubles grew, so did my love for my liquid friend. I began to indulge in alcohol more and more, and felt like I actually needed it in order to face life. But I was wrong, I didn’t need it, and a weekend getaway with friends helped me to realize just that.

While celebrating a friend’s birthday, I took it as the perfect opportunity to let my hair down and take a mental trip away from my jacked up life. That night I consumed so much alcohol that my friends literally had to carry me to the car. I was totally intoxicated and incoherent…a complete mess. I’ll spare you all of the gory details, but I was sick – physically and spiritually – for a whole week after drinking myself into a frenzy that night. And after hearing about the way alcohol’s influence caused me to act, I was embarrassed and ashamed.

That was a little over three years ago, and the last time I had any dealings with my liquid friend ex-friend.

Though the road to recovery is different for everyone, for me it was found through inviting God’s presence into my life.

Back then, though I professed to be a Christian and attended church regularly, the Lord’s presence was missing from my life. Not because it wasn’t available to me, but because I was too wrapped up in my problems and doing me to see the importance of nurturing a genuine relationship with Him. My life was void of the powerful presence of the Lord, and it left me open to fill that emptiness with the powerless, temporary fulfillment of alcohol. Had I had a real relationship with the Lord, and allowed His power to help me cope with the things that were going on in my life, I could have saved myself from drowning in drunkenness. But thanks be to God for never failing to extend His mercy to me in the midst of my foolishness, and allowing me to experience the life-changing power of His presence.

I thought alcohol helped me to free my mind, when in actuality it was a vice that kept me bound. It gave me a temporary escape, and blinded my eyes to the true way of escape the Lord had already provided for me. (1 Corinthians 10:13) I praise God for pulling me out of its strong grip when He did, and for canceling the enemy’s plan of destruction for me.

I don’t know who this may help, but the answer to escaping the reality of your problems cannot be found at the bottom of a bottle. The answer can, however, be found at the bottom of the cross…at Jesus’ feet.

The power of His presence changed me. It freed me. It healed me. It delivered me. It empowered me.

It can do the same for you, whether your issue is with alcohol, sex, over-eating, masturbation, pornography, or whatever the case may be.

Allow me to pray for you: Lord, I lift the sister who finds herself trying to drown her problems in alcohol or other empty vices, up to You, and I ask that You, by Your power, would help her to immerse herself in Your presence. When she feels overwhelmed by life, pull her close to Your bosom and saturate her in Your peace. Erase the guilt and shame, oh God, and remind her of Your perfect, unconditional love towards her. As she seeks You, give her comfort in knowing that although she has big problems, You are bigger, and she is an overcomer in Christ. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Be Beautiful!

XOXO

You Are SO Loved!

God is not mad at you; He's mad about you, and madly in love with you.

I love that quote.

I can remember a time in my life when I believed that God didn't like me too much.  Although I professed to be a Christian, I often willingly did things that were contrary to His word.  The life I lived behind closed doors was contradictory to holiness and righteousness.  Even though I often pleaded for God's forgiveness, the weight of my guilt and shame made me feel that God was angry with me for continuously falling short. 

After breaking promise after promise to straighten up and fly right, I felt that God had gotten tired me and His love had waxed cold.  But that wasn't so; that's just the way I felt...what the enemy made me believe.  What I didn't realize back then is even though my actions didn't always line up with my desire to be pleasing to God, He yet extended His grace to me.  Even in my sin, His grace abounded the more. (Romans 5:20)

He wasn't mad at me; He didn't cut me off; He didn't throw me away, but He continuously loved me.  He knew that underneath all of my mess was the holy, righteous woman He destined me to be before the foundation of the world.  Despite all of the sinful, displeasing things I did (Trust me, I can write a book about all the stuff I did.) His love was constant.  He loved me deeply and unconditionally, and never held any of my wrongdoing against me.  He forgave me, and cast all of my sins into the sea of forgetfulness. 

Although I engaged in premarital sex...

Although I was addicted to pornography...

Although I filled myself with alcohol...

Although I harbored unforgiveness in my heart...

Although I wasn't always honest...

Although I had a baby out of wedlock...

Although I shacked up with my boyfriend...

Although I hated those who hurt me...

God was never mad at me, but was always mad about me and madly in love with me.  I'm so grateful for that.

The same goes for you.  No matter what you've done in the past, or what you're struggling with at this very moment, God is not mad at you.  Because He is so rich in love, grace, and mercy, He yet loves you madly...deeply...unconditionally.  He loves you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

Now don't get me wrong, by no means am I insinuating that continuing in anything that is contrary to God's standard of holiness is okay simply because He is gracious towards us. (See Romans 6)  As children of God, we are called to be holy and represent Christ in all areas of our lives, and that is what we should strive for each and every day.  However, God understands that, as imperfect people, we make mistakes and have struggles. 

And in spite of your shortcomings, mistakes, bad choices, or whatever the case may be, God is not mad at you; He is mad about you and madly in love with you.  He's not holding any guilt over your head, neither is He holding on to what you did yesterday.  His love for you far exceeds that, and His plans are to prosper you, and give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Follow God's example, and forgive yourself. Let go of the guilt and stop being mad at yourself. Ask God to help you love yourself the way He does, madly...deeply...unconditionally. You are SO loved!

Be Beautiful!
XOXO

Be A Woman of Hope!

Hope is what keeps you believing for the best when life gives you every reason to expect the worst. It is that ray of sunshine that peeks through the darkest clouds. Hope keeps you going when tough challenges tell you to quit. It is that little flicker of light, buried beneath the ashes, that ignites your soul and keeps it alive. Hope is your lifeline; without it, your spirit would flatline. It can be quite difficult to keep hope alive, especially when you’ve been believing for something better for an extended period of time, yet nothing seems to improve.

 If you focus on the fluctuation of circumstances, your ability to remain in great expectation will dwindle to nothing. This is why you are admonished to keep your gaze fixed on the faithfulness of the Lord. You can never trust the situations of life to paint a true picture of what lies ahead, but when your confidence is in the Lord, you can be sure that, because He, the All-Knowing One, holds your tomorrow in His hands, He is faithful to bring His good plans for your life to pass. As a daughter of The King, you have no reason to lose hope. No matter how unpromising life may appear, He has promised you a great future, and He never goes back on His word. Hold on to the expectation that, no matter how dark or long the night, morning will come. You are a woman of hope!

Prayer:
Lord, thank You for making me a woman of hope. Life doesn’t always seem hopeful in my eyes, but help me to place my confidence and focus upon You, so that I may remain in expectation for the best You have planned for me. I cast down the spirit of hopelessness, and despite how circumstances may try to cloud my view, I will hold on to Your promises. I declare today that I am a woman of hope. Help me to embrace this truth as I move forward in becoming the beautiful woman I am destined to be. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Excerpt from Beautiful Me: 21 Days to Embracing Your Beauty Within 

Be Beautiful!
xoxo