Be YOU!

Most of my life, I did everything I could to fit in. I wanted so desperately to be accepted that I often conformed to being someone other than my true self. Quite honestly, I was totally oblivious to my authentic self; I had no idea who God created me to be.

As long as those I deemed cool accepted me, that's all that really mattered to me. I was afraid to be me, because I didn't think that anyone would like me for who I truly was. I didn't think the real me was cool enough to be loved and accepted in the eyes of man.

Retrospectively, I see that at the end of the day I was a fraud, deceiving others by pretending to be someone that I wasn't. I was merely building relationships based on lies, simply because I was too afraid of possibly having to stand alone. All the while, insulting God by refusing to accept the fact that He perfectly created me.

Today, I am so thankful that God has become the most important factor in my life. My focus is no longer upon being accepted by man, and fitting in to cliques or the popular crowd. My main focus is to be the best authentic me I can be, embracing the perfect creation God meticulously designed me to be.

Now, don't get me wrong. Feeling loved and accepted is something we all want; however, it is far better to be accepted for who you truly are than for someone you're pretending to be. Love and acceptance built upon false pretenses will not last.

When God began to open my eyes to my true identity in Him, I had to peel back layers of conformity before I could even get a glimpse of my true self. Coming into the real me, I struggled to hold on to relationships. It was as if I had to start all over, and reintroduce myself. This time, totally authentic. Some accepted me, some didn't.

It was then that I realized something -- Real or fake, there will always be those who simply will not accept you.

All too often, we spend so much time altering ourselves to fit the likings of others. This is a recipe for disaster. You will never be able to fully satisfy people. There will always be something you need to change in order to keep up with their expectations. Why put yourself through that?

It's much easier to just be YOU. No masks, no false pretenses, no deception -- true authenticity. One of the greatest things we can do to please God is to realize that we were fearfully and wonderfully made, a perfectly beautiful masterpiece created by His hands. And since God is perfect in all of His ways and all of His works are marvelous, then guess what? You and I are perfectly marvelous creations. Why not embrace that?

Do you have any idea how amazing you are? Do you know how much your uniqueness adds to the world around you? Are you aware of the fact that who you are is so special that God made no other person exactly like you? 

Keeping your true identity hidden is a disservice to the world...to the Kingdom. Forget about who doesn't like you, understand you, or want you around because you're different. God made you for HIS purpose, not to please people.

Love who you are. Embrace those things that set you apart from everyone else - your eyes, your skin tone, your hair, your personality, your likes, your interests. They all make you so incredibly beautiful.

From my heart to yours...

My Baby Has Wings

October is most popularly known as Breast Cancer and Domestic Violence Awareness Month. However, it is also Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month (Observance day October 15th), which is personally dear to my heart. 

Having three healthy pregnancies, I never thought I'd become a number in the 1 in 4 women who experience pregnancy loss. It's a pain unlike any other, and many women struggle to copeand heal from it. It's not given much attention, but that doesn't lessen the magnitude of its trauma. Some women will never suffer through chemotherapy or fight to find the strength to live again after escaping a violent relationship, but some are certainly suffering and trying to find life again after losing a baby. 

That's why I've written a special resource of prayer, scripture and comfort for those who find themselves trying to cope with the deep pain that pregnancy loss brings. It is my hope and prayer that those who read it will find solace in the God-inspired words I've penned from my heart.

It's a gift me to you.

Download My Baby Has Wings here.

From my heart to yours...

Encouraged To Wait

Waiting can be one of the hardest things to do when you more than want what you're anticipating, but you need it like yesterday. Whether healing in your body, financial increase, restoration in marriage, a job, or deliverance from a situation, I'm sure there's a particular area in each of our lives where we are waiting on God to move. But doesn't it sometimes seem like God is taking His precious time? Don't you sometimes feel like maybe God forgot about what He said He was going to do for you?

I've certainly been there, and it feels like waiting takes forever.

There have been times in my life - still times in my life - when it seemed I'd had petitions before the Lord and had been hoping to see some things He'd promised to do in my life manifest, for what seemed like an eternity. It seemed as if I'd been waiting, anticipating, expecting, and praising in advance for a long time.

At least it appeared that way to me. 

I mean, how much praise on credit did I need to give before the Lord made good on His word? 

I'm sure you've felt the same way, or, perhaps, that's exactly where you are right now. 

I once had a little talk with God when I was frustrated in the wait that I'll never forget. It went a little something like this:

Lord, have you forgotten about me? He answers, "Never. I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. (Isaiah 49:16)

Well, have you changed your mind about what you said you'd do? He answers, "I am not human, that I should lie, not a human being, that I should change my mind. I do not speak and then not act. I do not promise and not fulfill." (Numbers 23:19)

But Lord, haven't I been waiting forever? He answers, "If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time." (Habakkuk 2:3)

Can I be honest, Lord? Sometimes I feel tired in the wait, and it seems like my righteous living is going unnoticed. He answers, "Don't become weary in doing good, for at the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up." (Galatians 6:9)

Why do you keep telling me to wait? He answers, "Because they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

Can you give me an idea of when things are going to manifest? He answers, "To everything there is a season...I make all things beautiful in my own time." (Ecclesiastes 3:1;11)

I left that conversation with the Lord with my faith and strength renewed. He ministered to my heart and assured me that my waiting was not in vain. I remember feeling more encouraged to hold on to my faith and my promise from the Lord, trusting that things would manifest in His perfect timing.

Since that time, many of the things I'd been believing for have come to pass. Some of them, I'm still waiting. But I don't mind waiting so much anymore, because I confident that He who promised is faithful.

One thing I love about the Lord is that He knows what we need, at the exact time we need it. And no matter how much we want what He has promised us right now, His release-the-blessing clock has already been set.  All we have to do is align ourselves with His will, make sure there is nothing within us that will block our blessing, trust Him, and wait for the appointed time of manifestation.

Be persuaded to continue believing that although He may not come when you want Him to, He will make good on His promise at just the right time -- not according to your watch or your feelings, but to His perfect will and timing. In the meantime, be confident that He will never fail to meet every need in your life as you wait. 

We must be careful, because waiting can sometimes cause us to jump ahead of God and create our own version of what we want. We should never become so impatient with God like Sarah, that we obtain a premature counterfeit posed as a blessing, like Ishmael (Genesis 16). This is why waiting on the Lord is so imperative. It is the only way to ensure that we end up with His blessings that make rich and add no sorrow (Proverbs 10:22) Only the Lord can deliver that.

If you're in a waiting place, be encouraged. Don’t focus on the length of your wait, but rather on the strength you gain in the process. Stay with God, hold on to your faith, believe in the promise, and remain in expectation. Though it may tarry, wait for it; it will surely come. The Lord always keeps His word.

"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." (Psalm 27:14)

From my heart to yours...
xoxo

Cope With Christ...

In life, each of us will be confronted with difficult seasons. It’s inevitable. One thing we all must do is deal with those trying times in our lives in some way or another. The way we handle tribulation has the power to determine how bearable, or seemingly unbearable, that season may be.

I haven’t always been successful at coping with the stress of hard times. In fact, I found that my choice of coping mechanisms actually made me feel worse than my problems. Instead of going with the flow of the currents of my tough seasons, I often acted on impulse, panicked, and did things that caused me to drown in my sorrow.

When I should have been using prayer and praise as ways to cope with stress, throughout the years I either turned to pornography, sex, or alcohol. Though they offered a temporary relief to my flesh, because I knew these things were wrong, my spirit became wounded; thus, causing the problems I was already facing even harder to bear. In fact, I really wasn’t dealing with my tough times, but only suppressing and pacifying my feelings with sinful lusts of the flesh. At a time when I should have been drawing nigh to God, my inability to woman up and deal with what the Lord was allowing to happen in my life, ultimately as a means to grow and mature me, I became caught up in my feelings and allowed my sins to separate me from Him.

I eventually came to realize that my way of coping was totally wrong, and caused more harm than good. I knew that I HAD to learn a better way. It took some time, but through what I like to call my Fool-Proof Combination - Prayer, Fasting, and Studying God’s word - I learned that God wanted to give me beauty for my ashes, the oil of joy for my mourning, and the garment of praise for my spirit of heaviness. (Isaiah 61:3) He taught me how to adopt prayer, praise, and worship as the perfect way of getting through the difficult seasons in my life. I am a witness that it works!

There’s no doubt that He will bring us out of the tough times we face, no matter the level of pain and difficulty. Although God will see us through, however, that does not negate the fact that we must learn how to go through His way. The way of escape is already mapped out; however, we must be in tune with God in order to allow His Holy Spirit to lead us to that place of deliverance. This can be accomplished by praying, praising, and worshiping the Lord, even in the midst of your fiercest storm.

I know sometimes it can be difficult to praise or even talk to God when your whole world seems to be falling apart. And I know that sometimes the pain can be so intense that all you want is quick relief. But instead of turning to things that have no lasting power, I dare you to tap into the One who has all power.

Instead of falling into the arms of a random Joe, fall into the arms of Jesus, your constant companion .

Instead of spending money in retail therapy, spend time with God in real worship. 

Instead of searching for relief at the bottom of the bottle, find serenity at the foot of the Cross.

Praise and prayer invites God into your situation, and anytime God is present things are guaranteed to change. Consider Paul and Silas when they had been unjustly arrested, bound in chains, and thrown in jail. (Acts 16:23-26) What did they do? They didn't call Tyrone and try to orchestrate a prison break. No! They made the choice to turn to the thing that they knew would bring them out. They prayed and sang praises to God. They invited God into their situation, and He showed up. He caused every chain to be loosed, and they were made free. How much more does God want to do the same thing for you? 

There is no better formula for coping with the trials of life than that of prayer, praise and worship. When you go into your secret place and commune with God, He will come and sit smack dab in the middle of your raging sea and command peace. Even if He doesn't calm the storm, He'll calm you with His grace until it passes.

Cope with Christ.

From my heart to yours...

xoxo

YOU Have To Believe

I recently had a chat with a young lady who was having a hard time believing that she deserved to be made whole, and was ready to throw in the towel. “I want to give up” she said, “why is it so easy for me to believe for others, but so hard for me to believe for myself?” 

She sounded just like me at a time in my life. Ready to call it quits because I could not find the courage to believe that I deserved to be made whole and have an abundant, joyful life in Christ. Now I could freely encourage and believe for my fellow sisters, but when it came to me, not so much. But why not? Why couldn’t I have that same enthusiasm for myself?

I did not realize it then, but I now know that I simply could not get over myself. I could not see past my issues and struggles. I refused to look beyond my faults. I convinced myself that I could never be more than a woman filled with guilt and shame, and did not deserve redemption.

The adversary did not need to use anyone else to work against me because I had become my own worst enemy, fighting against myself. Whenever I would gain a small ounce of belief, I’d instantly diminish it with self-demeaning thoughts. I’d think to myself, Who are you kidding? You’ll never be more than what you are right now. And to be perfectly honest, that’s exactly what I believed in my heart.

Because I could not see beyond what I was at that moment, I felt inferior. Because I felt that way, I always settled for less. I figured I didn’t deserve anything better than what was at the bottom of the barrel. Meaningless relationships, dead-end jobs…I mean I was lucky just to get leftovers, right? Absolutely not!

It took me a lot of praying, fasting, and finding myself through God’s word to realize that this was not the mentality God wanted me to have. Just as I did for others, He wanted me to believe that I, too, deserved to have a better life.

He wants the same for you.

No one knows your issues better than you. No one knows your secret struggles better than you. No one knows the depth of your pain better than you. So who better can the enemy use to fight against you? Yep, you guessed it – YOU. The devil will make you your own worst enemy, but I encourage you to decide that no more will you allow the enemy to use you as his puppet.

Instead, allow God to erase the former things from the forefront of your mind, so that you can believe Him for the new thing He desires to do in you. (See Isaiah 43:18-19)

No one can believe for you. It’s one of those things we all have to learn to do for ourselves. Know this – Because of the grace and mercy of our God, and the blood of Jesus Christ that cleanses every blemish in our lives, we are deemed faultless in the eyes of Christ. See yourself through the eyes of Christ, and know that despite your past or present state, you are deserving of love, life, and liberty.

Here’s a simple prayer: Lord, help thou my unbelief. (Mark 9:24)

From my heart to yours...

xoxo

You'll Get Through It

From time to time, I find myself thinking about the goodness of the Lord and all He’s done in my heart and mind over the past few years. I often reflect on the times when I was nothing more than a hopeless woman wandering aimlessly through life, broken, battered, and bruised.

I never thought I’d break free from the cage of despair, but I am grateful for the powerful name of Jesus that destroys every chain in our lives. Whenever I recall the miraculous work the Lord has done - and continues to do - in me, I can’t help but lift my hands and utter Thank You Jesus from a heart overwhelmed with gratitude.

I know very well what it’s like to feel broken beyond repair.

Life made me believe that I was cursed with a curse. It seemed like I couldn’t win for losing, and every time I thought things couldn’t get worse, I was proven wrong. Whenever I’d slightly convince myself that I could make it through to better days, something would happen to crush my hope. Every small glimpse of sunshine I’d find was quickly clouded by gloom. It was exhausting, and I often felt like I was losing my mind.

There were times when I couldn’t leave my house because the tears wouldn’t stop flowing; days when strength to get out of bed was non-existent; moments when I thought I’d have a mental breakdown; and periods of not knowing whether I was coming or going.

Back then, I couldn’t see God’s hand upon me; neither could I understand how all of the pain and anguish in my life would work together for my good, as Romans 8:28 encourages. It was challenging for me to believe Jeremiah 29:11, that God had good plans for me. All I could see was what appeared to be a jacked up life that had no purpose. I sometimes even battled with thoughts of suicide, and honestly believed that I would die in my brokenness.

Oh, but God!

Right in the middle of my despair, in the midst of all my brokenness, His love and His word found me. He spoke to me so profoundly in Psalm 118:17. It says, “I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done.” I embedded that scripture in my heart, and I meditated on it day and night, until I became convinced of its truth.

When the enemy told me to self-destruct, I told him I will not die, but live.

When my problems overwhelmed me, I told myself I will not die, but live.

When depression backed me into a dark corner, I proclaimed I will not die, but live.

I had to learn to speak life into my spirit, no matter what my emotions said, and by the grace of God, His Word became manifest in me.

I didn’t perish in my pain, and, since God has no respect of persons, neither will you.

Though it often seems differently, God did not design your afflictions to destroy you. He allows you to experience tough times so that you may learn of Him, and become shaped and molded into what He destined you to be. He desires to give you life even in the midst of the valley of the shadow of death. It is the enemy who convinces you to believe that you will drown in your sorrow, but he is a liar.

Know this – It is during your storms that you are on the Potter’s wheel. Just as the potter cups his hand around the clay on his wheel and carefully shapes it until it becomes a beautiful masterpiece, so does our Father hold you in His hands, meticulously molding you until you become like the image of Christ. The clay may become a bit marred and broken in the process, but as long as it remains in the potter’s hands, he will perfectly put it back together.

The pain is not to kill you. The fire is not to burn you. The raging sea is not to drown you. It is not unto death. Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). It is the thief, the enemy, that comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but he cannot take what belongs to the Lord. And because you have been bought with a price, you are God’s property. Though the enemy desires to sift you as wheat, he does not possess the power to prosper in his attacks against you.

Despite how bad it hurts, how dark the day, how heavy the burden, the Lord has plans to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). If you just hang in there, you will witness the Lord’s promise to perfect every single thing that concerns you (Psalm 138:8). You’ll soon look back and see how the Lord’s mercy endured in your life, and proclaim His goodness forever.

Your right now pales in comparison to your future. 2 Corinthians 4:17 says it best, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” Your troubles will not be the death of you, but, on the contrary, will aid in the development of who God designed you to be long before the foundation of the world.

You shall not die, but live. How so, you ask? The answer is found in Zechariah 4:6, “Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.”

Be encouraged.

From my heart to yours...

Watch Your Mouth!

There are certain words and phrases I don't allow our three sons to say, especially if they have a negative meaning. I'm a firm believer in the fact that words have power and what you speak can shape what you see.

Proverbs 18:21 says that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." Again, words are powerful. They create, build, tear down, heal, destroy or soothe. Not only do the words that proceed from your mouth affect those around you, but they affect you. What you say to yourself about yourself or concerning situations in your life, has a huge impact on your perception. Words create visuals. What you say about a thing determines how you see it.

Oftentimes, a change in what you see merely warrants a change in what you speak. You are the first recipient of the words that flow from your mouth. When words escape your mouth, they go into your ears; from your ears, they enter your mind; from your mind, they enter your heart; from your heart, they influence your beliefs and actions. Perhaps you cannot rise in a particular area of your life because what you're speaking concerning the matter is holding you down. One's consistent declaration of I can't win for losing plants the seed of defeat, and each negative word you speak waters that seed and causes it to grow.

Instead of speaking defeat, declare 2 Corinthians 2:14 -- "But thanks be to God, who causes us to triumph..."

Instead of speaking sickness, declare Isaiah 53:5 --"With his stripes, I am healed..."

Instead of speaking lack, declare Psalm 23:1 & Philippians 4:19 -- "The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing...My God shall supply all my need..."

For every word of defeat, there is God's word of victory.

Watch what you're saying, because you will either starve from the emptiness of negativity (The enemy's lies) or be filled from the nourishment of positivity (The truth of God's word). Speak the Word of God over yourself and every situation in your life and watch how it changes your perspective.

Be Beautiful!

xoxo