I’m an over-analyzer. I’ve got it pretty bad. I’m always thinking and analyzing, and thinking and analyzing some more. And when I can’t completely figure things out, it sometimes drives me insane. Or in some cases, weighs me down.
That’s what happened a few days ago.
I’d spent days trying to understand how my now would connect with my next. I was frustrated, questioning God, feeling overwhelmed, and even shed a few tears.
After about three days of my thoughts playing ring around the rosie in my mind, the weight of it all made me fall down. Emotionally, that is. Right there in my room, sitting on the floor between the bed and the wall, I had a God-what-are-you-doing-in-my-life-this-doesn’t-make-sense tantrum. I’m talking an all out hissy-fit! Tears, yelling, the whole nine.
You should’ve seen me.
Well, maybe not. But I was a mess, you hear me?!
I told God all about how I felt like the things He’s allowing to happen in my life and all He’s taking me through in this season are all wrong. “Nothing’s going right!” I blurted through sobs. But He quickly put me in check. He said to me, “Nothing is wrong with what I’m doing in your life. It’s the way you perceive it that’s twisted. I do all things well.”
Ouch! Instant conviction.
And He didn’t stop there. He also said, “I never gave you the responsibility of having to figure out how things will work out in your life. You took that on by choice. Only I know the plans I have for you, and every single thing I allow in your life, whether you like it or not, works for your good according to my perfect plan, not yours. Oh ye of little faith.”
Double ouch!
That tantrum quickly turned into tears of repentance.
How could I claim that I love the Lord, I trust Him, and I live by faith, yet doubt His faithfulness just because I’m not fond of His methods? How could I profess that I trust in the Lord with all of my heart and lean not to my own understanding, while sending myself into panic over those things I don’t understand? How could I declare that the Lord will perfect everything that concerns me, but call foul when things seem so imperfect?
Yes, I’m human – as we all are – and feelings are natural and very real. But should there ever be a time when my feelings override, and almost obliterate, my faith to the point that I’m worrying myself crazy over things I can’t control? Not if I truly trust God.
The last thing God spoke to me during my time of weakness was this simple, yet profound truth – “I never once asked you to figure it out. I’ve already worked it all out. All I ask is that you trust me.”
At this moment, I have renewed confidence in the Sovereign God, whose thoughts and ways are much higher than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9), and has chosen me to be a joint-heir and share in the glory of His son, Jesus Christ (Romans 8:17). He's promised me - us - victory, so every thing will be just fine.
There’s no reason to get lost in uncertainty when you serve a God who is certainly faithful to fulfill every promise He’s spoken to you.
Join me in affirming, “Lord, I trust You.”
From my heart to yours...
xoxo
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