Get Over Yourself & Grow

I believe that the Lord is ready to raise His daughters up, but He needs us to move past our past, get over ourselves, and stop making excuses.  This was a serious process for me, but over the past few years the Lord has tremendously moved by His power in my life, and I've healed, been delivered and grown in ways I thought unimaginable for myself. After so many year of being a prisoner of bondage to depression, sin, low self-esteem (And the list goes on!), at the close of 2009, I declared that I would not continue on another year with life as I knew it and made a conscious decision to relentlessly work towards becoming the woman God created me to be.  

Because of what I have seen the Lord do for me personally, I am fully convinced that it does not matter how low you sink, how dark your past, or how great your sin, God will clean you up, and use you for His glory.  If He could do that for me, I know He’ll do it for you.

So where do you start?  I’m glad you asked. This is exactly what I had to do...

1. Move past your past.  Your past is only a prelude to the story of your life.  If you allow yourself to get stuck there, you will never find out how the remainder of the story unfolds.  What happened yesterday does not define who you can be tomorrow, so as much as it may hurt or as shameful as you may feel, there is life beyond it.  It is absolutely impossible to walk forward and look backwards at the same time.  In the Message Bible, Isaiah 43:18 says “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history…I’m about to do something brand new.”  Break free from the chains of your past through the power of Jesus Christ, and allow the Lord to do something new in your life.

2. Get over yourself.  Now before you roll your eyes at me for telling you to get over yourself, hear me out. This was a hard one for me, because I often felt like nobody had it worse than me.  You know, the whole woe is me attitude.  I had it bad.  But you know what?  Life happens to everyone; not just you.  God hasn’t singled you out to be picked on by the happenings of life.  You’re not the only one who was molested.  You’re not the only one who never had a father or mother.  You’re not the only one who had a baby out of wedlock.  You’re not the only one struggling with addictions.  It’s not just about you.  Realizing this helps you to turn down the invitation to that pity party you keep getting invited to.  At least it did for me.  Once you understand that the things that happen in your life are not designed as a personal attack against you, but are purposed to build and develop you, I think you’ll learn to stop feeling sorry for yourself.  Self-pity will begin to cease, and progression towards moving forward can begin.

3. Stop making excuses.  It’s as simple as that!  The enemy will always give you reasons why you can’t move forward in life.  He definitely gave me plenty.  But at some point, you have to stop believing what he says about you, and believe what God says.  I want you to erase the following phrases from your mind and vocabulary:

I can’t…
I would but…
It’s just not meant for me…
This is just who I am…

Those are all excuses.  Replace them with positive affirmations.

I can…
I will…
There’s more for me…
I don’t have to stay this way…

You can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength. (Philippians 4:13)  In Christ, there are no excuses, because with Him nothing is impossible.

Purpose in your mind that this will be the last year that you allow yourself to be anything less than who God has destined you to be.  Resolve in your heart that you are going to make the first step towards moving forward, make strides towards tapping into and maximizing the potential that God placed within you before the foundation of the world, and commit to the process.

May you be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you may rise higher in life and in the Lord.

From my heart to yours...
xoxo

Giving Up Is Not God's Option For You

I have experienced my fair share of distress, disdain, and discomfort throughout my life.  Like many other women, molestation and the absence of my father - among the plethora of bad choices I made - led me into a life of sexual immorality, addiction, depression, and low self-esteem.  I had sunken so low, and become so accustomed to my hard-knock life, that when I finally reached a place where I actually wanted to get a grip on my downward spiraling life, it proved to be too challenging.  Praying was easy, but believing that I’d ever see the answers to my pleas for help, hope, and healing was extremely difficult.

There were times when it seemed that the more I prayed and tried to make steps towards a better life, something would always happen to knock me backwards.  Constantly being knocked down by the blows of life caused me to feel that giving up and accepting that things were as good as they were going to ever be, would be much easier than walking a path of faith that seemed to get me nowhere close to my land flowing with milk and honey.

The more depressed I became, the more I convinced myself that I’d be better off throwing in the towel.  But no matter how much I wanted to quit, or how often I cried “Lord, I give up” I am so thankful that His mercy kept me when I didn’t want to be kept.

Had I given up during those tough seasons, I never would have known the beauty of God’s plans for my life.  I would have missed out on seeing the Lord’s promise to give me hope and a future becoming manifest in me. Although my current journey is neither perfect, nor devoid of challenging circumstances, I am confident that just as He has already proven, God will continue to be faithful to perfect everything that concerns me.

When I compare my today to my yesterday, I realize that it would have been crazy of me to give up back then.  My sufferings back then do not compare to the glory that God daily reveals to me through His purpose for my life.  Giving up was once definitely an option I wanted to choose for myself, but I am thankful that it was not the one God intended for me.

Neither is it what He intends for you.

Life gets hard for everyone; none of us are exempt.  And sometimes the storm can become so boisterous that you’d rather be swept away with the wind than try to fight through it.  But today I’ve come to encourage you to keep pressing onward; don’t give up.  It may not seem like it right now, but it will get better.  If you give up now, you’ll miss out on all of the wonderful works the Lord intends to do in, through, and for you. The very same God that brought me through (And continues to do so!) some of the toughest of times will do the same thing for you; He has no respect of persons.

Consider Hannah.  If she had allowed her years of barrenness to cause her to give up on her desire to bare children, she never would have experienced the joy of birthing Samuel. (1 Samuel 1:1-28)

Consider the woman with the issue of blood.  After twelve years of hemorrhaging and spending all of her money trying to find a cure that was of no avail, she could have given up and accepted that there was no hope for her ever being healed. But she didn’t. She kept the faith and pressed her way to Jesus. Because she didn’t give up, she was made whole. (Mark 5:25-35)

Consider Job.  He lost everything he had, and was sorely afflicted from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet.  He could have cursed God and died during his challenging season; instead, he decided to fight through it, and wait until his change would come.  Because he never gave up, the Lord fully restored him and gave him double for His trouble. (Job 42:10-17)

No matter where you are, or what you’re facing right now, please do not give up in the face of hard times. Better days are ahead.  Do not allow the enemy that comes in the form of frustration, weariness, and hopelessness, steal, kill, or destroy the abundant life God has promised to you.  He that began the good work in you is faithful to perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)

Endure hardness as a good soldier (2 Timothy 2:3), and as Philippians 4:6 (The Message) says, “Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”

In your own strength you will fail, but if you connect to The Power Source, Jesus Christ, His strength will become perfect in your weakness.  His grace is sufficient and His strength will help you to hold on. Whatever you do, don’t give up.

From my heart to yours...
xoxo

Learn To Dance In The Rain

Whenever I believe that something I’m going through or have learned from things I’ve experienced can help someone, I don’t mind coming out of my private shell and allowing myself to be transparent.  Though we all have different troubles and struggles, I believe there is commonality among us all, and we can learn from and gain strength from one another.

So, as I sometimes do when I feel led, some time ago I opened up to my family of Facebook friends and shared a piece of my heart from my personal journal in hopes of encouraging someone along their journey.  This is what I wrote:

Ever since that heart-wrenching day in September when I saw our baby's lifeless little body on the sonogram screen, life has been a real challenge. Loss, struggle, pain, lack, depression, and sickness have knocked on my door, and MANY days and nights I've cried in despair. I've wanted to tell God that if I have to go through such a pit just to be more of who He's called me to be and to receive His promises to me, I'd rather just give it all up. I've wanted to say, “If the anointing costs me this much, you can keep it!” But if there's one thing I'm perfectly sure of, it's that even when I don't like what He's doing, I genuinely love the Lord and I trust that He causes all things to work for my good.

It has been a tough season and the enemy has come to detour, discourage, and destroy me in SO many ways. But in the midst of it ALL, I can testify that God has held me together and is continually pulling me through. Without His amazing grace, I'd have lost my mind. But thanks and glory to God who NEVER gives us more than we're able to bear and helps us in times of weakness.

I shared this to say that no matter what you're going through, YOU CAN MAKE IT. It may be some of the hardest challenges you've ever experienced, and you might cry, lose sleep, and feel like giving up. But if you stay with God and hold firmly to His unchanging hand, He will bring you through the flaming fire unscathed.

You have to learn to praise God for the rainbow while right in the middle of the storm. You have to decide that no matter what He takes you through, no matter what you lose, no matter how much you have to hurt, you are STAYING with the Lord. Why? Because your worst days with Him are still better than your best days without Him. Though the winds may blow forcefully against you, you should declare ”I shall not be moved!” That's my stance and I'm sticking to it! Be encouraged, friends; seasons change. For now, embrace where you are, extract the lessons, and dance in the rain! 

It’s so easy to feel like you’re the only one having tough times, but you’re not.  The best of us experience hardship; none of us are exempt.  And sometimes, life can become so challenging that you feel like giving up would be a better option than trying to hang tough and go through so much hurt, pain, struggle, and disappointment.  But as children of God, we weren’t designed to give up.  You and I are more than conquerors through Jesus Christ (Romans 8:37).  That means, not only do we overcome every obstacle, but we emerge from it much stronger than we were before sustaining it.

You can make it through anything that comes your way. How?  Through God's grace, strength, and power. That’s why it’s imperative to not allow unfavorable circumstances to push you away from God.  Despite how the enemy may play on your emotions or cause you to feel like things will never get better, stay with God.  If it’s one thing we all know for sure, it is that the devil is a liar and there is no truth in him.
If you keep your feet planted upon the Lord, the Solid Rock will hold you steady.  If you keep your hand in His, He will surely lead you through the valley.  And even when the rain is pouring down, He will keep you covered. Just praise Him through it. I’m not telling you what I heard, but this is what I know because He’s done it for me time and time again.

So go ahead and go through.  Go ahead and praise God for the rainbow even though all you see right now is clouds.  Go ahead and dance in the rain as if the sun was shining.  No matter the challenges of your current season, everything is going to be alright.

Don’t be moved by what you see or how you feel; God is still faithful to perfect every single thing that concerns you (Psalm 138:8).

From my heart to yours...

xoxo

Quit Worrying & Trust God

Life can be filled with so much uncertainty.  I’ve definitely found myself wondering what’s next, how things will work out, or if the current season of my life will ever truly make sense.  Just a few days ago I felt such heaviness upon me, brought on by my redundant worrying and trying to figure out all the things I don’t particularly understand about my life right now.

I’m an over-analyzer.  I’ve got it pretty bad.  I’m always thinking and analyzing, and thinking and analyzing some more.  And when I can’t completely figure things out, it sometimes drives me insane.  Or in some cases, weighs me down.

That’s what happened a few days ago.

I’d spent days trying to understand how my now would connect with my next.  I was frustrated, questioning God, feeling overwhelmed, and even shed a few tears.

After about three days of my thoughts playing ring around the rosie in my mind, the weight of it all made me fall down.  Emotionally, that is.  Right there in my room, sitting on the floor between the bed and the wall, I had a God-what-are-you-doing-in-my-life-this-doesn’t-make-sense tantrum.  I’m talking an all out hissy-fit! Tears, yelling, the whole nine.

You should’ve seen me.

Well, maybe not.  But I was a mess, you hear me?!

I told God all about how I felt like the things He’s allowing to happen in my life and all He’s taking me through in this season are all wrong.  “Nothing’s going right!” I blurted through sobs. But He quickly put me in check.  He said to me, “Nothing is wrong with what I’m doing in your life.  It’s the way you perceive it that’s twisted.  I do all things well.”

Ouch!  Instant conviction.

And He didn’t stop there.  He also said, “I never gave you the responsibility of having to figure out how things will work out in your life.  You took that on by choice.  Only I know the plans I have for you, and every single thing I allow in your life, whether you like it or not, works for your good according to my perfect plan, not yours.  Oh ye of little faith.”

Double ouch!

That tantrum quickly turned into tears of repentance.

How could I claim that I love the Lord, I trust Him, and I live by faith, yet doubt His faithfulness just because I’m not fond of His methods?  How could I profess that I trust in the Lord with all of my heart and lean not to my own understanding, while sending myself into panic over those things I don’t understand?  How could I declare that the Lord will perfect everything that concerns me, but call foul when things seem so imperfect?

Yes, I’m human – as we all are – and feelings are natural and very real.  But should there ever be a time when my feelings override, and almost obliterate, my faith to the point that I’m worrying myself crazy over things I can’t control?  Not if I truly trust God.

The last thing God spoke to me during my time of weakness was this simple, yet profound truth – “I never once asked you to figure it out.  I’ve already worked it all out.  All I ask is that you trust me.”

At this moment, I have renewed confidence in the Sovereign God, whose thoughts and ways are much higher than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9), and has chosen me to be a joint-heir and share in the glory of His son, Jesus Christ (Romans 8:17).  He's promised me - us - victory, so every thing will be just fine.

There’s no reason to get lost in uncertainty when you serve a God who is certainly faithful to fulfill every promise He’s spoken to you.
 
Join me in affirming, “Lord, I trust You.”

From my heart to yours...
xoxo

Stop Circling That Mountain

During a recent personal Bible study, the Lord led me to Deuteronomy 1:6-8.  It says this:

“The LORD our God spake unto us in Horeb, saying, Ye have dwelt long enough in this mount: Turn you, and take your journey, and go to the mount of the Amorites, and unto all the places nigh thereunto, in the plain, in the hills, and in the vale, and in the south, and by the sea side, to the land of the Canaanites, and unto Lebanon, unto the great river, the river Euphrates. Behold, I have set the land before you: go in and possess the land which the LORD sware unto your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give unto them and to their seed after them.”

For my sister who feels stuck in a particular area of her life, there are four words I believe the Lord wants me to tell you:  It’s been long enough.

I know what it’s like to feel bound by your issues, and to continue circling the same mountain month after month, and year after year.  As we have entered into a new year, my prayer is that you will realize that you have dwelt long enough in your barren place, and it’s time to get up, go in, and possess the land that the Lord has promised to you.  I don’t know what your mountain is.  It could be depression, sickness, fear, poverty, or addictions, but the Lord is saying that it’s time to take hold of what is rightfully yours – healing, deliverance, peace, wealth, freedom, purpose.
 
It’s so easy to become comfortable with being uncomfortable when discomfort seems to be your norm.  But that’s a trick of the enemy.  That’s just one of the ways he tries to keep us bound, and hinder us from being and possessing all that God has destined for us.  But as I often like to say, the devil is a liar.  He kept me going in circles for a long time, but once I grabbed hold to the word of God, and clothed myself in His armor, I got a little fight in me and chose to take back all that the devil had stolen from me, or hindered me from.  It had been long enough.

Taken from the above scripture passage, there four actions I’d like to expound on:  Turn, take your journey, go in, and possess the land.

1. Turn –  I believe that change must first take place in the mind.  In order to turn, or shift, from where you are to where you desire to be, you must first be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2).  As your mind transforms, it will help you to not focus so much on the problem (mountain), but rather the solution (promised land).

2. Take your journey – I believe that the problem with a lot of us is that we are afraid of the journey.  We are scared of what we will have to face as we transition from one place to the next.  Transition is never easy.  It often causes us to have to deal with deep pain or ugly truths, and to separate ourselves from things or people that aid in us being stuck where we are.  It’s definitely hard, but the key to being free from the things that have us bound is facing the truth, and know when to let go and/or walk away.  It’s important that we embrace the journey, because along the way it builds our strength, and strength is a vital factor when it comes to possessing what God has in store for us.  It won’t be a cakewalk, but embrace the journey.  It brings you that much closer to walking into your promised land.

3. Go In – Now, before you go in and possess your land, I think it’s important that you take some time and go in your prayer closet and the Word of God.  Prayer strengthens us, and the Word of God shields us (Ephesians 6:11-18).  There is no way we can go against the enemy without God.  Our words and our own strength will keep us defeated, but when we clothe ourselves in the Word of God, and strengthen ourselves through prayer, we have the perfect ammunition to fight against the enemy.  We’ve got to have our war clothes on.

4. Possess the Land – “And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.” (Matthew 11:12)  It’s as simple as that – you’ve got to take it by force.  First you’ve got to want it, and when you want it bad enough, you’ll get mad enough to snatch everything God has for you right out of the enemy’s hand.  Sure, he’s going to fight you, but that’s okay because you have power over the enemy (Luke 10:19).  Take what belongs to you!

Declare today that it’s been long enough, and make up in your mind that you will no longer dwell at your mountain and allow it to keep you from what God has for you.  Resolve in your heart that this is the year, the month, the day, the hour that the cycle of circling ends.  There is such abundant life in the reaches for you.  You don’t have to continue to sit back and watch everyone else walk into their promised land while you’re stuck in the same place.  As Jesus said to the man at the pool of Bethesda, Will thou be made whole? Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.  It’s been long enough; possess your land.

Forgive: It Only Hurts You

Have you ever disliked something so strongly that the mere mention of it made you cringe, or been so deeply hurt that you couldn't move past the pain? I have...plenty. This one time in particular, it was something, it was someone.  Truthfully, I hated this person.  For years, she had been blatantly disrespectful and condescending towards me.  Instead of nipping things in the bud in the beginning stages, I harbored feelings of hurt and allowed them to turn to bitterness; my bitterness led to unforgiveness; unforgiveness formed hatred.

My hatred towards her had gotten so bad that I sometimes found myself having evil thoughts about her.  I felt that she had insulted and infuriated me far too many times without showing a fraction of remorse; therefore, she did not deserve my forgiveness. As a Christian I knew this was wrong, (I studied all of the scriptures concerning unforgiveness.) but I couldn’t seem to get over my feelings.  I could not open my heart and forgive her.

I’ll spare you all the details, but I will share this – She had no clue about my feelings towards her, so at the end of the day, I was the one who suffered.  She didn’t feel the pain of my hatred towards her, I did.  I suffered spiritually, emotionally, and physically.  I was the one losing sleep, stressing, going to the altar every Sunday, and feeling disconnected from God because of my inability to forgive.  At this point, it was no longer about her; I had to look inward.

I had to decide whether I was going to continue to allow my flesh to rule my heart, or tap into the God within me and love her with the love of Christ.  Needless to say, I chose the latter; however, it wasn’t easy.  My heart was willing, but my mind put up a fight.  It took A LOT of praying to break that unforgiving spirit which had festered in my heart.  I didn’t forgive her for her sake, but for my own.  I needed to be free.  And trust me, there is such freedom in forgiveness.

Perhaps you’ve been deeply hurt by someone, and you’re finding it quite challenging to offer forgiveness.  If you think about it, it’s pointless to hold a grudge, because the only person it really affects is you.  There’s a quote I like. It says, "Harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting on the other person to die."

Let that soak in for a moment.

Who are you truly hurting?

Unforgiveness makes you bitter and angry, and prohibits you from sharing the genuine love of Christ.  There are three things you can do for someone who wrongs you, that will free your heart and mind: forgive them; pray for them; love them.  No, it’s not always easy to do, but it’s definitely the righteous thing to do.

Choose today to no longer allow unforgiveness to rest in your heart.  Besides, if you can't offer forgiveness, how can you expect to receive forgiveness from God? Let’s pray:

Lord, forgive me for not operating in the spirit of forgiveness as your word commands.  I ask that you would help me release the offender, and the offense, that caused me pain, heal my heart and renew my mind so that I may show the same love and forgiveness towards them that you have shown towards me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Daddy Issues: God Always Knows Best

"I spent a great deal of my life searching for something to fill the void of not having my father around.  I turned to sex, pornography, and, eventually, alcohol, desperately seeking to feel whole. But all those vices did was add to my emptiness and made me feel worse about myself.  Wandering aimlessly through life, I felt worthless, and in my eyes, there was nothing good for my life." (Excerpt from "Beautiful Me: 21 Days to Embracing Your Beauty Within) 

For me, not having my father in my life was hard...very hard.  Life devoid of his love and protection left me vulnerable to things I probably never would have experienced had he been there.  Perhaps I would have never been introduced to things like molestation, promiscuity and low self-esteem.  Maybe I would have known that I was worth more than to be used to fulfill a man's lustful desires.  Or maybe, just maybe, I would have avoided a 15-year addiction to pornography, trying to deal with the pain of his absence.

For so many years, I blamed my father for all of the misfortunes in my life.  Everything was his fault.  Everything...because he dropped the ball on his responsibility to love, nurture, and protect me.

How could he leave his little girl all alone?  How could he not care that she'd never know the true love of a father?  How could he abandon me when all I ever wanted was his presence in my life?  How could he neglect such a precious gift -- his own child?

I didn't have the answers to those questions back then, but as I have grown in my relationship with the Lord, I have gained new insight on my father's absence.

Although it was his choice, ultimately, it was God's will.

Yes, I would've given anything to have my father in my life - still would - however, I have learned to trust that even in not-so-great situations, God knows what's best for me. Who's to say that my father's presence would have made my life better? Who's to say that he even knew how to be a good father to me? It's possible that things could've been worse had he been there. Who knows?

I once hated him for abandoning me, but that was before I understood that God causes all things to work for my good. His absence created a bigger space for God's presence. How can I be mad about that?

If I really think about it, I was never without my Father.  Where my natural father left me, my Heavenly Father loved me.

God has both healed that pain and filled that void, and now I can honestly confess that I love my father. Wherever he may be in this life, I honor him because he was a part of God's plan to produce my existence. Without the part he played, I wouldn't be able to fulfill God's amazing purpose for my life.

The ugly things I experienced in life were not my father's fault; it was simply all necessary to bring God's purpose for me to life.  I needed those experiences so that He could use my testimony as encouragement for other women.  It had to happen.

You may not always understand why you've had to go through certain things, and you may even feel that others are to blame for the unfortunate circumstances in your life, but here is something that I've learned:

God works in ways we know nothing about and cannot comprehend. You may not understand the why behind what you've experienced or what you're currently going through, but God, in His infinite wisdom,  is in total control of it all.  He will carry you through the tough times and use what seemed to be for your demise to lead you to His place of destiny for your life.  Romans 8:28 is true, my friend...God causes ALL things to work together for good to them that love Him and are called according to His purpose.  The opposition you face in life are opportunities to draw closer to God and receive an outpour of His Spirit, strength, grace and peace.  It was, or is, a part of God developing your story to be used for His glory. 

Every pain, every heartache, every disappointment has all been purposed to work in your favor.  All things work together...

From my heart to yours,
LaKeisha
xoxo