Open Cage, Broken Chains

I was once a prisoner of my pain, guilt, and shame. Year after year, instead of finding my way of escape, I fell deeper and deeper into the bondage of my hurt.

It shackled me. It crippled me. It consumed me.

I was a hurting woman, and I believed that was all I’d ever be. From the pain of molestation, to the guilt of sexual immorality, and the shame of using alcohol as a coping mechanism, I turned inward, and was well on my way to self-destruction. There was a part of me that wanted to be free from the past, but that part of me was buried so far beneath all of my deeply rooted pain that I could not hear its faint plea for help.

I wanted to be whole, but I only knew how to hurt. So I subconsciously chose to stick with what had become familiar to me. Oftentimes, we allow ourselves to get stuck in one area in our lives simply because we grow accustomed to being comfortable in uncomfortable situations. Though scripture tells us to be content in whatever state we are in, it does not instruct us to ever become complacent. Complacency is a handicap.

Just because you’ve experienced hardship for the majority of your life, does not mean you’re supposed to stay there for the remainder of your life. God only has you where you currently are for season.

If you feel bound by the remnants of the past and plagued by the pain of the present, I have a little encouragement for you.

Whatever you’ve been through, whatever you’re going through – whether it’s rape, divorce, abandonment, sexual immorality, molestation, abortion, substance abuse, past criminal history – whatever the case may be, you are more than your hurt. You no longer have to be held prisoner to the guilt of your past. Neither do you have to succumb to the lies of the enemy that says you will never be more than a woman filled with shame and pain.

God wants to turn your pain into purpose. He wants to reveal the beautiful jewel on the inside of you, and help you to realize your priceless value to the Kingdom. You are the daughter of a King; that alone makes you royalty. He desires for you to open your eyes to embrace the undeniable beauty you possess in Him.

It is not God’s pleasure to see His children suffer; that is not His plan for you. He’s only allowed you to experience the things you’ve encountered to prepare you for the ministry He will birth out of your pain.

You will not hurt forever. You can have a fresh start and move forward from your place of pain. Your new beginning does not lie in the date on the calendar, but it lies in the Man that holds your life in the palm of His hand. Your past is over in Christ; accept your freedom so that you may fulfill God’s divine purpose for your life. You are no longer bound; your chains have been broken. Christ has come to give you hope.

You're free to be healed.

You're free to be whole.

You're free to be happy.

You're free to be loved.

You're free to walk in purpose.

You're free to be everything God has pre-ordained you to be.

The cage is open. Your chains are broken. You are free. Fly.

From my heart to yours...

xoxo

Finding My Father: It Wasn't His Fault

If you've followed my writing for any length of time, then you know I grew up with an an absent father. You also know that I blamed him for every negative thing that ever happened in my entire life. In my mind, every single thing was his fault...


My low self-esteem.
My insecurities.
The sexual abuse.
My distorted understanding of love.
My struggle with sexual impurity.
My inability to trust men.
My unhealthy need for male attention.
My depression.
My suicidal thoughts.
My credit score (Not really! Ha!)...but you get the point.

 I used my father's absence as a scapegoat, and even blamed him for the hurt inflicted upon me by others, like the people who pained me were puppets maneuvered by his strings. I blamed my absent dad for EV-E-RY-THING! My reason for all of the bad choices I made in my life -- daddy issues. That was my story, and I stuck to it.

I wore my daddy issues excuse like a badge of honor, as if it gave me a pass for the pain caused by own reckless behavior.

Now, don't get me wrong, daddy issues are very real; however, we can only call daddy to the carpet for so long. At some point, the course of our lives becomes our own responsibility. At least that is what I personally believe.

But what every misfortune in my life really my daddy's fault? Truthfully, absolutely not.

The only thing I could validly fault him for is robbing me of the opportunity to know a father's love, and, because of that ignorance, causing me to look for such love in the wrong ways. But even in that, I totally forgive him, because I understand that the course of my life is much bigger than him failing to be a part of my life. God had a plan, and it has all worked for my good. I'm alright with that.

Retrospectively, through eyes of wisdom, I see that many of the pitfalls, pains, and problems in my life derived from the poor choices I personally made. That's nobody's fault but mine. I've matured enough to admit and accept that.

It wasn't daddy's fault. He simply played the role he was purposed to play in order for me to live out the purpose God planned for me. Now, his role, for this stage of my life has changed. He's no longer an absent non-participant; he's present...front and center, and released, by me, from all the blame I placed upon his shoulders.


Dear, Daddy:

I fully, totally, completely forgive you. You are not the cause of anything I experienced in my life...it was either by my choice, man's choice, or God's plan. I can now, at this point in my life, appreciate your absence (As crazy as it may sound!) because I understand that it was necessary in order for me to become the woman that I am today...and I happen to think I turned out quite alright!

No condemnation.
No blame.
No guilt.

Nothing but love.

xoxo
LaKeisha