Spring-Clean Your Heart: Let Go of Unforgiveness

They broke your heart.

They conned you out of money.

They abandoned you.

They molested you.

They lied to you.

They stole from you.

They scandalized your name.

You're hurt.  You're mad.  You feel betrayed.  You feel used and abused.  You're angry.  Your heart aches from the lingering sting of the offense against you.

You want an apology.

You want compensation for your pain.

You want your name cleared.

You want your money back.

You want them to come back into your life.

And until you receive what you feel you need, you can't move on.

But what if that one thing you want never happens?  What if you never hear "I'm sorry?"  What if that loved one never comes back?  What if the wrong that was committed against you is never personally made right by your offender?

Will you stay angry forever?  Will hurt and pain continue to steal your joy?  Will unforgiveness take permanent residence in your heart?

It is inevitable that people will hurt you in life, but one thing that can hurt you more than what someone does to you is unforgiveness.  It is said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.  It hurts you, not them.  If you really think about it, while you harbor feelings of hurt and anger, the person who wronged you has gone on with their life.  So why allow your joy and healing to be controlled by someone else?

As right and as wonderful as it would be to have others genuinely apologize for the pain they've caused in your life, many times it simply does not happen.  But you can't allow another person's lack of morale to have you living contradictory to God's Word by operating in unforgiveness.  The sooner you learn to accept the apology you may never receive, the sooner you can heal from the hurt and move on with your life.

Don't allow the enemy to play on your pain, flare your emotions, and cause bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness to fester and grow in your heart.  As a child of God, you are called to love even your enemies. Matthew 5:43-45a says, "You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven."

Furthermore, when you fail to forgive others, no matter how badly they hurt you, you block yourself from receiving forgiveness from God.  Matthew 6:14-15 says, "“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins."

God extends mercy (forgiveness) to us freely, and as His children, we are to reflect His character.

Unforgiveness hurts you emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically.  God has so much He wants to do in, for, and through you, but the bitterness in your heart against your brother or sister is blocking His hand.  Do yourself a favor and spring-clean your heart.  Let go of anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness, and make room for the Fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, and peace (Galatians 5:22-23).   If left unattended, unforgiveness will blossom into hatred, and hate is not of God.  He is a God of love, and calls us to love one another (John 13:34-35).

Forgiving others does not take away the fact that you were wronged and hurt, but it allows you to display the character of Christ and grow in your relationship with Him.  The best revenge you can ever have on someone is forgiving and releasing them to the Lord.

Take the weight off of your shoulders and follow the beautiful example of our Savior, Jesus Christ, as He asked His Father to forgive those who brutally beat Him and nailed Him to a cross. If He could forgive, surely you can too.

Be Beautiful,
LaKeisha Rainey-Collins
xoxo